Currently Playing The Chronicles of Life & Death (Life Art Version) By Good Charlotte see related

Today I didn’t do much. A friend told me he asked my x what happened and he said he still had feelings for me, but he just didn’t have the time for me. I thought that was BS, because all that tells me is that he preferred a sport over me. I could have been flexible to his schedule, but I guess he just didn’t want to try to make it work (that’s fine). He should just tell me what’s going on! (Arrrg is it that hard to say what you feel or is in your head?). Enough about him… Well iv’e been talking to Ricky a little more. He seems like a good guy and he plays the guitar! (that’s a big plus…it just fascinates me when a guy can play). One bad thing is that he is the friend of zach (the x of my sis). Well my sis has another other friend that likes him too (What up with all the guy drama?). For the first time ever I had fun in my Spanish class today. I actually participated (that never happens). I guess it’s not that bad. After school my sis, Seth, and I were having a lot of fun, bcuz we were talking and acting like gangsters (lol…THAT WAS FUN!). We talked a little about prom. I didn’t want to go, bcuz I want to save that moment for senior year (I’m gonna party hard with my cousin and friends). Everyone wanted me to go just to make my x jealous, but I’m better than that (plus I just didn’t feel like going). I would rather just chill at home. I’m glad that most of my friends are going, and hope they have a lot of fun. N/W…At about 7:30 my cousin Maria came over from Santa Cruz. We went to chill at the Marketplace, and saw some good-looking guys. It was a lot of FUN. Till next time.

I can’t get this song out of my head…

         "If You're Not The One"

  
If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

Currently Playing Getting Away With Murder By Papa Roach see related

It rained today (YAY!!). It was so much fun playing in the rain, but the only bad thing is that i was freezing after (for those who don't know i get cold fast). Not only that but i know i am gonna get sick (that's never good).  I remembered a little "adventure" i had after school with someone a day that it rained like today (lol). Today during my second period i felt weird, but i dont know why. I just had a bad feeling about being in class. I don't know why, but i'm getting weird feelings again. I don't know what they are about or who (i HATE not knowing) . Well yesterday before going to bed i wrote a 2 &1/2 paper of all the crap i had inside (WOW!!! it felt good to get it all out). I had just finished a sentence when my mom got home, and talked to me. She made me feel so much better and gave me the strengh to move on. Now thx to her i can say that i am ok (at least better than before...she did say it was going to  take time). Anyway today I didn't do much, so i guess thats it...Later

p.s I missed you a lot sis! see you tomorrow.    

Currently Playing Crossfade By Crossfade Cold see related

Today i finally realized that things with  my x is over. I couldn't ask him what he felt, but i decided to kiss him and find out. I see that he truly has no more feelings for me ( The question is...did he ever?....i say that bcuz its like one day  he says he loves me & the next he dosent care). It's all good bcuz i can now say that i can move on w/o feeling bad for hurting my x...Well today was a great day! Today two attractive guys talked to me. One was Johan, i was told by my sis that he is a French guy. It all started when i was in the resource center (out of all places) and i decided to use the comp. Johan was sitting next to me and started talking to me, he said i was not bad looking and stuff like that. It was cool, but i found out that my sis likes him (NOT GOOD!). The other one is Ricky. I was drawn to his big beutiful blue eyes, and decided to talk to him. He seems like a cool guy and to top it all offi find out hes my neighbor. They are both jrs, so that's good. There were a few more guys that talked to me today, but those were the two that caught my eye. My sis could not bealive that so many guys would talk to me, but then again i couldn't bealive it myself (lol). Well to end this off, let me just say taht deep down  i still have feeligs for my x, but i realize now that i have no choice but to move on. He seems just fine w/o me and if he could move on as fast as he did, then i can too. I feel some-what bad not only for my x (it feels weird bcuz even though we broke up i want to respect the time we were together), but for my sis too. I did not know that she liked those two guys that are now talking to me. She said it was fine, but we just have to see what happens. Only time can tell what will happen anyway (it's not like i asked for this). I don't know if i'll get with one of them, bcuz even though i act like i'm ok i'm not. A lot of things still hurt me, but hopefully time will heal my wounds. All i can say is that i need time to truly get over my x w/o holding anythig against him.      

Currently Playing In Love and Death By The Used All That T've Got see related

 Nothing to say.